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TYou are a SPUNKY AND VIRILE ADOLESCENT OLIVEBLOODED FREAK named GEGEON IMITIS.

You fashion yourself a beginner MUTANTILATIONOLOGIST, spending an abundance of your free time PERFORMING GROTESQUE DISSECTIONS AND EXPERIMENTS on a LITANY OF WRITHING VARMINTS which you like to ORDER ONLINE or OTHERWISE CAPTURE UNCEREMONIOUSLY. Most of your friends view this practice as RATHER UNSAVORY, however you pay them little mind as any true MUTANTILATIONOLOGIST SUCH AS YOURSELF would do.

You take pride in your NEAR EFFORTLESS PROWESS IN SURVIVAL, which you have gained over the years living in the IRRATIONALLY AND INTOLERABLY COLD REGION you call home. As any troll worth their sludge would know, locales such as the one you inhabit are constantly subject to swathes of ROGUE LUSUS ATTACKS! What a LIFE!

You are a DOGSHIT ACOUSTIC TELESYMPHONIZER and are urged by most to QUIT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, but you tell most to TAKE IT UP WITH THE GHOSTS! The SIX STRINGED TROLLTAR you ordered was expensive, and god damnit, you'll make it worth your hard-earned caegars.

You commune with your friends on your EXTREMELY HAUNTED PERSONAL SLIMETERMINAL. Through this GHOULISHLY LAGGY DEVICE, you torment your companions with FLATTENED SCOUNDRELS BEAMED DIRECTLY TO THEIR RESPITEBLOCKS. Your trolltag is roadkilledAutopsy and you speak in a manner that is intended to |-[of(Fe)r your knowledge of the sciences]-

Do some total freak shit